What I Need My Republican Peers to Understand About Their Hurting Friends

Posted on by Celyra the Romantic

It’s over. After nearly two years of unadulterated bullshit from everyone, the election is over, and my candidate did not win.

Exhausted and anxious, I watched as red state after red state appeared on CNN’s map. I was so in shock that I literally couldn’t bring myself to continue until the race was called in the wee hours of Wednesday morning, and went to sleep teary-eyed, stressed, and devastated.

The next morning I, like all of you, woke up to social media post after social media post echoing the disappointment that lulled me to sleep the night before. People were astonished that someone as controversial as Donald J. Trump could be elected President, but a lot of others were just plain hurt.

This is where the lack of understanding from my Republican friends comes into play.

Upon seeing the dozens of posts decrying the prejudice that characterized his campaign, my Trump supporting peers interpreted them as personal attacks.

“Just because I voted for Trump doesn’t mean I’m racist, or hate gay people, or am Islamophobic!”
“I don’t know why people are acting like it’s the end of the world, Donald Trump is only one person!”
“It’s immature to end friendships over ‘differences in political opinion.'”

What these statements demonstrate to me is a lack of empathy and failure to see the bigger picture. I have plenty of Republican friends, and a lot of them are extraordinarily intelligent, caring, and accepting people. They’ve repeatedly spoken out against the prejudice that has colored this campaign, and stand against it every day of their lives. They themselves are not racist or prejudiced in any way- that is not at all the accusation your friends are making.

Your (rational) Facebook friends are not calling you a bigot, but are disappointed in you for thinking bigotry is acceptable. By voting for Donald Trump, you told your friends that you think the things he says and does are acceptable. 

That is certainly an oversimplification- I recognize that. But for your friends affected by the events leading up to this election, your support for the President Elect feels like opposition to them. In order to help you understand, I’m going to walk you through their thought process: Your friends are upset because, by process of deduction, they’ve concluded that you do not find anything disqualifying about a lot of the objectively terrible things that have been said and done by your candidate. If you thought these behaviors were inappropriate, you would have taken a stand, like those on this extensive list of Republican leaders against Trump, and not given your vote to the man who demonstrated them. Since you did, in fact, cast your vote for Donald Trump, it shows them that you did not find anything wrong with his behavior, and that realization hurts their feelings. For them this is not just “difference of opinion,” but an endorsement of behaviors that degrade them as people.

Again, that’s not entirely fair. Emotions are not always logical. You may have been vehemently against Trump’s actions on the campaign trail, but still voted for him for other, more complex ideological reasons. Or maybe you just hated Hillary Clinton. Those reasons absolutely have merit, and are not the reasons your friends are upset with you. They have taken your support for Donald Trump as acceptance of the bigotry and hatred surrounding his campaign. 

Before you get defensive and stop reading, I need you to be objective, analyze statements of fact, and hear me out on just a few points:

  1. As it relates your Muslim friends: Donald Trump has run a campaign generalizing Islam as a menace to world peace, and has even suggested banning adherents from entering the country. Donald Trump attacked the parents of a Muslim solider who gave his to defend your right to vote for him, and made remarks about Mrs. Khan “not being allowed to say anything” while her husband spoke at the DNC- remarks inspired by negative and many times, inaccurate assumptions about how Islam relates to its female adherents. You thought this was acceptable. 
  2. As it relates to your LGBTQ+ friends: Donald Trump has repeatedly spoken against marriage equality, and vowed to repeal it during his campaign. Donald Trump chose a running mate who believes that a) LGBTQ+ citizens should not be allowed to defend their country (which is quite a sacrifice considering the fact that they’ve been treated like second class citizens in this country until very recently), b) LGBTQ+ people should not be protected from discrimination the same way other minorities are, and c) state funds should be redirected to programs that “redirect homosexual behavior,” which has been proven time and time again to be both ineffectual and absolutely traumatizing for those who have to endure it. You thought these things were acceptable. 
  3. As it relates to your Latinx and First Generation Friends: Donald Trump announced his campaign with a speech wherein he called undocumented immigrants “criminals and rapists.” On his campaign he tried to exploit the grief of parents and loved ones who happened to lose their lives at the hands of undocumented immigrants to generalize them as a group of violent, lawless monsters when you and I know that is not the case most of the time. (Sidenote: The shitty way you feel about being generalized for being a Trump supporter is the same exact way your minority friends have felt since this campaign again. Empathy is a bitch, isn’t it?) I know a lot of people who were either a) brought here illegally by their parents (which is something they had no control over and thus should not be criticized for, btw) or b) born to parents who came here illegally. One of my close friends was brought here by her parents as a child when they fled their town in Mexico, which at the time was (and is to this day) being terrorized by a drug and human trafficking cartel. They wanted their kids to have a chance to escape the horrors of their cartel-run, poverty-stricken environment and gave them a chance at life in the US. They, and all of the families like them, were prejudicially characterized as dangerous criminals, and you thought that was acceptable. 
  4. You thought this was acceptable:
    trump-3
  5. For your PoC friends: White supremacists groups have been emboldened by the Donald Trump presidential campaign. His rhetoric speaks to the fear (and sometimes hatred) of people who are different (be it racially, ethnically, religiously, etc.) felt by some people in this country. This is a fact. America is quickly diversifying, and for those who fear what they do not understand, this is cause for nervousness. They’ve seen how minorities are treated in this country, and as a result are afraid of what that status entails for them as diversification continues. Trump’s prejudice and xenophobia (both implicit and explicit) have rationalized the opinions of those who are tacitly simmering with racial resentment and inspired those people to be more vocal. David Duke (the former Imperial Wizard of the KKK), as well as the Klu Klux Klan’s national newspaper have endorsed Donald Trump because he shares “their wholesome values of race and gender” and supports the “virtues of a white, Christian republic.” When a hate group with over 100 years of history painted by terrorism and the dissemination of hateful, racist rhetoric endorses a candidate because they believe he upholds their values, that should give you pause. It clearly did not, because you voted for him. 
  6. As it relates to women: I’m not going to touch reproductive rights because it’s a touchy issue no matter who is running. But I will say that Trump’s advocacy for punishing women who have abortions is extreme, especially since he did not communicate any punishment for the men who are often part of the decision to terminate a pregnancy. Donald Trump has bragged about “grabbing women by the pussy,” been accused of sexual assault by over ten women, is being brought to trial for sexual assault next month (which is troubling on its own, regardless of the verdict), and has perpetuated rape culture by saying that some of his accusers “weren’t attractive enough” for him to even assault (which is absolutely not the point of assaulting someone). You thought this was acceptable. 

If you’ve made it to this point, I commend your maturity and willingness to see another perspective. The point I’m trying to make here is that you should really try to put yourself in the shoes of those belonging to the groups above. Just because most of the offensive things you’ve read likely did not apply to you, it doesn’t make them any less terrible in the eyes of those to which they did. Your friends are very hurt, scared, and confused as to why more people didn’t complete this exercise in empathy before voting, and are trying to process their feelings. Instead of subtweeting on Twitter, getting upset about being called a bigot, or taking all you see to heart, I recommend having a meaningful discussion with your liberal friends, and help them understand where you’re coming from in much the same way this article aims to show you where they are coming from. Although she didn’t win, Hillary Clinton was right when she said that we’re “Stronger Together”

J’adore,
La Nouvellle Romantique

52 thoughts on “What I Need My Republican Peers to Understand About Their Hurting Friends”

  2. I voted for trump with none of the above normalized reasons in mind and voted against Hillary for a multitude of reasons. I would love to open a dialogue with you to discuss why I voted the way I did. I am willing to open up on every reason I voted for trump and every reason I did not, that being said a simple reply would be long winded and I am not sure wordpress would be able to handle the length of such a reply. While I can’t speak for every trump supporter as our reasons why vary widely on a spectrum I feel I can speak for those that were either borderline Hilary and voted against her because she was just so terrible and I feel I can also speak for the concerned American, non xenophobic side. Would you be willing to do this?

    Liked by 4 people

  3. Wow. I’m amazed you were able to do this. As I literally convulsed and sobbed on Tuesday night, I immediately posted out on my blog something about how we were going to fight this– Tomorrow is Day 1 of the Revolution type thing. Since then — I haven’t been able to write anything. I have been shell-shocked. I’ve been wearing pajamas outside as I bring my kids to and from school. (I work freelance so the PJs isn’t as dysfunctional as it might otherwise be). I have cried and cried. Read articles obsessively. Thank you for voicing so much of what I am feeling. I cannot tell you how much this shores me up to (one day soon hopefully) be able to continue fighting the fight.

    Liked by 2 people

  4. Unfortunately, a large part of the problem is that many Trump supporters do not have any friends in those demographic groups that his campaign terrorized.

    Liked by 6 people

    3. Yes, because that time you stole a stick of gum is totally the same as all those times when he defrauded his investors, cheated on his taxes, and drove small business owners out of business. That time you pushed a boy in third grade is definitely the same as when he shoved a reporter up against a wall and kissed her against her will while his pregnant wife was upstairs. That time you told someone to fuck off is absolutely comparable to him ordering his supporters to put protesters in the hospital.

      Some context and a short lesson in religion might do you some good. “Let he who is sinless cast the first stone” comes from the story of Jesus defending a woman accused of adultery who was about to be put to death. He spoke up for the powerless against the powerful, and the powerful were basically saying to him “In the old days, you know what we’d do? We’d knock the crap out of her!” (“Now, in the Law Moses commanded us to stone such women” John 8:5a.) His response was an argument for mercy and never for violence, much less violence against “the least of these.” Some of His strongest rebukes were against those who would seize power under the guise of righteousness and use that power to disenfranchise others (“hypocrites,” according to Matthew, who “say one thing and do another” and are “like whitewashed tombs, beautiful on the outside but with death and rottenness within.”)

      We’re not throwing stones. We’re writing Trump’s sins on the ground and hoping that someone, somewhere will feel some shame before it’s too late.

      Liked by 4 people

  7. This is very well written and understandable, now let me tell you from my perspective why I did accept these things, hopefully you too will be mature enough to read it completely, I am not a Democrat, I am not a Republican, I am a hispanic white woman in her 30s. This being said, I felt it was not ok to give Hillary a pass at the things she has done since accepting and defending Bill in 1998 (this was the start of my rejection towards her, there were more things but I will not get into detail since it was not the reason I voted against her). I did however choose to be ok with Donald Trump because all these things are his opinion and thank god for the government the USA has that his opinion is just as acceptable as yours and mine even if we dont agree. He surrounded himself with smart and capable people (Pence, Kelly Anne, Gingrich, etc.), people I suspect would not willingly back him up if he had some decency in him. I also saw the whole campaign Hillary tried to convey as a really ugly thing, Look back at it all and tell me truthfully, isn’t she a Bully as well? His campaign on the other hand was not so ugly, the ugliness you saw was of him, what you heard about her was never a lie or as pushed through the Media. He used to be a Democrat, which by my interpretation means he still has some ideas that are similar to that that is already running. And last and most importantly, My #! reason to vote for Trump was the fact that everyone has talked about inclusion and racism and sexism and sooo much victimizing all minority groups that it has gone from being bad to one group to being bad to others. I believe and hope it will become that believes, whether it be Faith, Culture, Political or any other belief, can be accepted even if you are in the majority. I believe in an America that gives same opportunity for all and let the people thrive on their dreams even when their dreams are traditional. I will not stand up against bullying by bullying, which is all I have seen from those against Trump. I commend your writing because you did not. I did accept his behavior and Hillary’s as well, horrible from both parts and I used it to teach my kids the reality of the world and what I wish for their future. I even went as far as to tell them “everyone will not accept you and that is ok, just like you do not have to accept everyone. But you do however have to respect and expect to be respected”. I hope this is as clear to understand as your letter for I am not a writer and am not defending bad behavior, I am asking that we become ONE race, Human.

    Liked by 6 people

  8. Celyra,

    This reply is written with an appreciation for you, and your willingness to have a conversation.

    Thank you for sharing your feelings. I can understand your dilemma. I had to reckon with some of the same issues you raised before I cast my vote for Trump. I accepted at the outset that my liberal friends (and those who are not my friends as well) would be both disbelieving that there was sufficient support for Trump to win; or that decent people could consider a vote for Trump as an ugly necessity. It is probably of little value to you for me to expound on my logic, or what factors led me to make my decision. That conversation is for another day, if you wish. I do wish you to know that I did not make my vote out of indifference; but what I perceive as out of necessity.

    I do not believe that it is fair for the equation of a vote for the Republican candidate to translate to an acceptance of behavior that is clearly intolerable. I could not choose one without the other. It is reflective of how strongly I believe in the major issues facing the nation that I made this difficult decision.

    I would ask you to please consider the choice that an honorable, faithful, honest person would have to make to choose Trump. To those people who are no less committed to decency than you, can you imagine the price we have paid to make our choice? And perhaps you could consider carefully why we would make those choices.

    I submit to you that you may choose to accept abortion as a woman’s right, and you can reconcile this as not also being the commission of a murder, regardless of the justification. Clearly our views differ on this point, and I respect that. But I do not think of you as condoning murder for your beliefs. I would there-fore submit that a vote for Trump does not make me guilty of condoning his acts either.

    I’ve never been a big fan of those “if,then, else” arguments that are driven by emotional motive force. They often betray honest discourse with rounded corners and slippery slopes where integrity becomes veiled by anger.

    If you have chosen to read this to it’s conclusion as I did your thoughts, then thank you for listening to me. My prayer is that our nation is better for all for the choice I and many others made.

    Liked by 3 people

  9. What is happening in the picture with the physically atypical man? I tried to look it up but couldn’t find it. Obviously it looks like he’s mocking him, but why?

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  10. PoC? Oh god, please, just stop. That is not even a remotely accepted phrase. Just spell it out if you want to use it.

    Otherwise, not bad.

    Liked by 1 person

  11. Americans LOVE getting rid of the establishment every few years…even if life isn’t that terrible. You can’t tell me the white folks in rural & rust belt America have it harder than many blacks in this country? They just dont have it as good as they did back in the day, you know like the 60’s & 70’s! Those white folks did not want the establishment back in. That’s why they picked Trump in the primaries & the election. His loud mouth, shoot from the hip nastiness is a breath of fresh air to them. Unfortunately in ruling the country, they will soon see how much it will smell like a fart.

    Liked by 1 person

  12. Super Predators was a one time mistake and unlike Trump she is not a repeat offender, she admitted in the mid-2000s that she was wrong about gay marriage.

    I realize many people had reasons for voting Republican, but no one had a reason to vote Trump. The reason we have elections is so that the America people can say NO to people like Trump and Hillary. Trump supporters have talked about fighting against the Political Machine and, in the most incredibly general sense, they have by electing someone who was not a politician. HOWEVER, they elected a man who is, in fact, worse than most politicians. You HAD a choice in the primaries between another outsider, Ben Carson, as well as some of the most popular, squeaky-clean politicians the GOP has to offer. You CHOSE Trump. Even if you didn’t vote, you chose Trump.

    The other problem is this: Hillary aligns much more closely with Republican views than Trump. I have seen evidence of people realizing that Trump aligned much less with Republican views than he claimed. Great. So why did you vote for him? Party politics. You claim you were well informed, but didn’t you just see his claim to the republican throne and assume he was on your side?

    As you probably have noted, I voted Clinton. I do not consider myself a democrat, I consider myself independent because I realize how poisonous party politics are. I know that even liberals vote for the wrong reasons. Many Bernie Supporters followed him because of the bandwagon effect.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. She is admitting this to win votes. You are severely blind if you do not see that. She was a Goldwater Girl….that was a one time thing. You think feelings like that just go away because she realized she wasn’t “truly racist inside”….blind. She was telling you what you wanted to hear, for your vote. Plain and simple. Bernie would have been a hell of a lot better option than Clinton. Her and her husband are just plain evil.

      Liked by 3 people

  13. You’re right. I didn’t vote for Johnson, Clinton, or Trump…they are all POS…But it’s getting old watching one side feel like they are better than the other for false reasons. I’d rather see 99% of eligible voters STAY THE FUCK HOME than feed into a system that gives you disgusting options…every…single…election.

    But no, we are scared into voting because “Your Vote Counts”….I have a feeling if nobody voted, the lack thereof would truly change the crappy system we are presented with every 4 years. Most people think that is utter insanity…while I think choosing the lesser of 2 evils is utter insanity (yes, you only have 2 options in reality, I don’t care “what you can write in”…it’s 2 people.)

    Liked by 2 people

  14. 1) “The Clintons themselves were never prosecuted, after three separate inquiries found insufficient evidence linking them with the criminal conduct of others related to the land deal”. No case here.
    2) Hillary requested not to defend the rapist because it went against her beliefs, but was forced to represent someone to the best of her abilities if she wanted to remain a lawyer. She did not get him off the hook because she believed he was innocent or supports child rapists, she did her job as she was told to do because that’s what you do when you’re a lawyer.
    3) Do you not know how to count?
    4) Benghazi was the direct result of GOP’s votes on security cuts, not anything Hillary did/failed to do.
    5) Freedom of speech is a constitutional right that she would not have been able to abolish. However, many people don’t know what freedom of speech really means, so I’m really curious to hear what your definition on that is, and what made you think she’d take that away from you.
    6) You mean embryos and fetuses, most of which are not even considered alive until around 24 weeks old? You mean giving women the choice for life saving procedures on wanted children, because late term abortions happen, in 99% of all cases, to wanted children due to medical complications? You mean wanting to fund Planned Parenthood, an organization that offers sex education, contraceptives to prevent pregnancies and reduce abortions (who would have thought education and prevention works?), screen for cervical and breast cancer, ensure women get the surgeries and treatments for those cancers, and also support women who are going through a wanted pregnancy but can’t afford the alternatives? Because sign me the heck up!
    7) There was nothing illegal or unethical about that. So unless you have anything significant to contribute to this particular line, it’s not even really worth mentioning.
    8) It’s not proven that KKK endorsed Hillary. Someone claimed that they were from KKK and told media they changed allegiances, but the KKK never made any official endorsement on the matter. Check Snopes for that one.
    9) While the word ‘super predators’ was used, it was never in context to label male African-Americans such. It was in relation to drug cartel violences. Check politifacts for that one.
    10) I believe she was against gay marriage initially out of ignorance. I don’t blame her. I do commend her on having educated herself and befriending gay people to get a better understanding of them, and adjusted her views accordingly. It takes a lot of thoughtful consideration and a willingness to admit fault within yourself to change your opinion on a matter like this. All it does is speak for her character.

    So I just debunked all 9 of your claims that supposedly are justified reasons for voting against her. Maybe if you’d spent some time doing independent research instead of blindly raging with feelings, you might have learned a thing or two. Hillary has shown you there is no shame in admitting you were wrong and adjusting your views.

    Liked by 1 person

  15. 2) she was a lawyer. it was her job. It does not seem fair to revile her for doing her job without first repudiating the whole criminal justice adversarial system.
    6) I’m firmly pro-choice because I think it’s more humanitarian and ethical to allow women to choose what is best for their own bodies/sort out the what is the best choice for the particular circumstances surrounding their own pregnancy/health situation/financial situation etc. Women do still die in childbirth in case you’ve forgotten.
    9) my understanding is that was taken out of context, and Trump trumped that by repeatedly talking about instigating “law and order” which is a racialized code word suggesting that he would be against criminal justice reform which has a lot of momentum right now/ and I suspect he’d be way worse than Hillary in that regard because again he literally instigates violence
    10) a lot of people have been against gay marriage (or pretended to be for politically expedient reasons) their whole life until they finally changed their mind. it’s not the same as wanting to send people to conversation therapy or let them die of HIV like Pence.

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  16. Interesting article and it’s a good start on an important conversation that should be had between people in our country. Unfortunately it strikes a chord, whether intended or not, of expecting the Trump supporters to have empathy for their distraught Hillary supporter friends, without expecting the same of the Hillary supporters. You listed a litany of reasons why non hateful people should have realized that voting for Trump could be conceived as condoning his hateful speech, while boiling down the reasons why people couldn’t vote for Hillary to “hate”. Frankly I have a list of reasons why I think people who voted for Hillary are either condoning horrible things or are just outright being taken advantage of. Pay for play, disregard for the law, collusion with a media to essentially brainwash the masses, endless class warfare, subdividing people into special interest groups instead of treating them like individual people etc… As you mentioned, empathy is a two way street, this article felt a lot like we were expected to go down our side, but Hillary supporters get a pass.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. I’m assuming you read this and are aware that it wasn’t meant to explain why people voted for Hillary. This is a presentation of how one side is feeling about the results, and wasn’t titled “Why I Voted for Hillary over Trump” for a reason. . .

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      1. The title of this article isn’t “What I Need My Democratic Friends to Understand” and I am extraordinarily clear as to what the purpose of this article is at the beginning. Lack of comprehension on your part is out of my hands.

        Like

  18. “By voting for Donald Trump, you told your friends that you think the things he says and does are acceptable.”

    Well yeah, political incorrectness is acceptable if we take freedom of speech seriously. As Voltaire once said: “I dsapprive of what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it”. Ring any bells? Probably not.

    It seems the author of this article has no clue what political correctness is, and why the majority of Americans (those who voted for Trump) think it’s tyrannical.

    Liked by 2 people

      1. Sure, but “hate” is a pretty broad word. BLM activists have plenty of “hate” to spread around, but that’s acceptable…

        Liked by 1 person

      2. There’s no mention of BLM on this blog and thus no indication of whether or not I think their rhetoric is appropriate or acceptable. . . But since I’m a pesky black woman I’m sure your assumption is that I do, huh? Again, have a blessed day!

        Liked by 2 people

    2. You are absolutely right – political incorrectness is covered under free speech. You can be politically incorrect, spout racist, sexist, and a myriad of other prejudiced words and it is, while reprehensible, still covered by free speech. Be politically incorrect all day long – you want to joke about grabbing women by the pussy, calling blacks niggers, or ejecting rapist Mexicans, that’s your right – just like it was Trump’s. But the moment you try to act on any of these things, the minute you lay hands on a woman, tell a black person to “die nigger,” or personally try to eject a hispanic, you’ve crossed the line of political incorrectness and free speech to assault, harrassment, and hate crime. And part of the problem is that many people don’t recognize that line, which is why political correctness exists as an American institution. You can be a racist, sexist, and all the other “ists” at home with your other “ists” buddies all you want and I won’t say shit – that is your right, but when you bring it into the lives of those you hate, you are infringing on their right to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. If asking people to govern their mouths in front of others as a sign of respect for their rights is sign of tyranny, then we as Americans haven’t really graduated from the mindset of your average adolescent.

      Liked by 5 people

  19. Here’s what I’m having a hard time reconciling in my head: We have listened to 18 months of vile and vicious hatred spewed by Trump during the campaign, and I do not recall seeing one Trump supporter ever speak out about it before he was elected. Their silence implied complicity. Now that the election is over, I’m seeing Trump supporters saying they don’t agree with THAT part of his agenda. Just the other stuff. Why wasn’t that message sent to him prior to the election? Why was it ok for unprecedented hatred against President Obama and HRC to be expressed over the last 8 years, but now that we are expressing our anger over Trump’s election, we are being told to get over it and come together after just 3 days? We are going through the many stages of deep grief and one of those stages is anger. We have a right to express it, just as others have done for the last 8 years. Will we be stuck in the anger phase for 4 years? That remains to be seen. Trump has a LOT of damage control to do. He can’t just say ‘come together.’ He’s going to have to start speaking out about how racist, sexist, homophobic, and xenophobic behavior is unacceptable. So far I have not seen that.

    Liked by 9 people

  20. Okay, you lost me at the defense of UIs. I have no sympathy for illegal immigrants, and do not even try that “No human is illegal” garbage with me. Saying someone is an illegal immigrants means that they immigrated to this country in violation of our immigration laws, or to put in in layman’s terms, wait for it, immigrated illegally. However, here is my response.

    I’m going to make two points here, but before I do, I’ll just get a couple of things out of the way. I hate Trump and did not vote for him. Yeah, surprise surprise, you can hate both candidates running and refuse to vote for either one. I can give a host of reasons why neither of them should have won the election, but today, I’m focusing on Trump. Trump is an asshole and will bleed this country dry due to his reckless behavior. My fear is that we are going to go bankrupt like Greece.

    This post is not for people who overwork the right side of their brains AKA those who are nothing but raw emotion. If you’re one of those types, I suggest you scroll down, because I have no use for any emotional garbage this evening. I also have no use for anyone trying to be “deep” by “reading between ‘the lines'”. There are no lines to read between here. What I say is what I mean unless I am clearly being sarcastic or condescending. I’ve seen too much of this emotion bullshit throughout this election, and look where it’s landed us. Usually, I l enjoy riling up their kind, it is really funny working them into a frenzy. However, I have no patience for it tonight. Now that we got that out of the way, let’s get to business.

    First of all and most importantly, I think a lot of people need to stop for a minute, take a deep breath, and remember what powers a President actually has here. He cannot bring back segregation or ban abortions. Even if the Supreme Court is mostly Republican, doing the latter is nigh impossible. The former actually is impossible. He also can’t strip the LGBT community of their rights. In fact, I am hearing of more incidents of people creating chaos and disorder through riots in opposition of Trump than I am of his supporters being assholes by graffiti-ing hateful messages, gloating to Muslims and ethnic minorities, or LGBT people, or outright attacking them. More Trump supporters (or reluctant voters) have been attacked and ridiculed than Trump’s opposition facing backlash from his supporters. So, everybody needs to calm the fuck down, take a deep breath, and have some drinks or get stoned. After that, everybody needs to do a little research into what a President can or cannot do. After that, they need to apply a little bit of logic and reason and think for a minute if their fears are justified, and if the government can actually do these things.

    Secondly, I’m going to play devil’s advocate here and say that most of those who voted for Trump are not bigots, homophobes, or xenophobes. While a lot of them are, most are not. Most are just disgruntled with the way things are – of politics as usual – and have been for decades before you and I were born. Hell, even many white working and middle class men who had previously voted for BO had voted for Trump for this reason. Another thing is that many of the straight white Christian cis-men who had voted for him and personally hold no prejudices based on race, religion, gender, or sexual orientation, got tired of being seen by default as “the enemy”. Yeah, it’s petty, but if you (especially the media and pop culture) keep labeling a demographic in a negative light, if you keep calling them “racist”, “sexist”, “homophobes”, “xenophobes”, “privileged”, etc. simply because they do not agree with your viewpoints and you never give them a chance to explain why they disagree (yeah, for years now, I’ve heard shit like “Oh, listen to him man/cis/whitesplain”), things will eventually backfire and many are going to think, “I’ll show them.” Also, don’t forget that Trump got more votes from women, ethnic minorities, and LGBT people than Romney or McCain did. They too were tired of the status quo and to a much lesser extent, I believe they too were tired of the Democratic Party expecting them to be tax and spend liberals, let alone party loyalists. There were also many Sanders supporters who were still very angry at Clinton and the DNC that voted Trump.

    Either way, our country’s gonna face some really difficult times and would have done so either way.

    Liked by 4 people

  21. The lack of reading comprehension here astounds me. You try to explain the other perspective, so that they wont take shit so personally, and try to understand. What do they do? Take shit personally and keep bitching like they always do.

    Liked by 1 person

  22. Hello, I am the author of this article and am here to let you know that I’ve spent an not insignificant amount of time removing hateful and downright abusive comments. This is my website, and I want my readers to feel comfortable exploring it without seeing language that would certainly kill my grandmother if she were to read or hear it. My posts typically don’t get more than 500 views and a stray comment or two, so the fact that this particular post has 64,000 and over 40 comments is obviously a change. If you’re going to comment, I ask that you are calm and respectful to me as well as to other readers. (P.S. this is MY blog, and as such I am free to delete comments I feel are abusive. No, you’re not being censored. You have the right to use whatever abusive language you’d like on your own blog, on social media, or on online forums. Thank you.)

    Liked by 5 people

  24. Thank you Celyra. I am generally ashamed and distraught by our country’s choice for these reasons. Your words sum up why. I found solace in Tim Urban’s “It’s going to be Ok” for folks still reeling. Of course, I am still fearful of what carnage Mr. Trump and his cabinet will leave in their wake, including the rights and protections of immigrants, women, and LGBQ folks to name a few. And I am still sad and disappointed that our country wants to undo everything President Obama established. To me it is a waste of our time and resources as well as counterproductive.

    One thing I do not understand is the whole “political correctness” backlash. What’s the problem with being respectful and nice to people? That’s my understanding of political correctness; it is not Tyranny, which requires cruelty and oppression. Do folks balk at the idea of having manners? They are pretty important in the South. What about the golden rule to do unto others as you would have done to you? The bible teaches this rule. But both have wide application outside of the South and religious. So I ask, what exactly is wrong with political correctness when it’s acceptable under other names? You could argue that political correctness has an agenda I suppose. But that agenda would be to suppress racist, sexist, homophobic, and xenophobic *behavior.*

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  27. Speaking for myself, I’d consider the effort a failure. Having read the comments by the Trump voters I feel more ccontempt for them than ever. People are allowed to free speech, and you were so offended that poor Donald was subjected to criticism that you just had to vote for him. Baseless conspiracy theories about the Clintons. The real problem is the “riots” by his opponents. What nonsense. What you dismiss as harmless graffiti has my loved ones refusing to leave the house. Are you scared to leave the house? You all remind me of the frat boys who told Borat white people are the real victims in America today.

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  28. I didn’t vote for Trump, although I consider him a better alternative than Hillary for many reasons. That being said, I spoke out passionately against the way so many of my conservative friends seemed to worship him, much like I remember the almost-Godlike admiration many had toward Obama in 2008.

    Now that the election is over, mourn it, but there’s no point in the continued lamenting. It did no good for me in 2008 and 2012. All we have left is the hope and belief in the idea that our President will do the right thing, whatever that may be.

    Make no mistake. His rhetoric and the things he said were INEXCUSABLE. In my opinion, he owes quite a few people apologies, especially John McCain and the Mexican judge he insulted. But candidates do and say stupid things in the excitement of the campaign. Trump was trying to appeal to rural white lower-middle class America, and it worked. And by and large, they’re not racist, sexist or homophobic. They just felt as disenfranchised as you do now, and a candidate (flawed but still their best hope) came along and swept them up in good-ol-boy ‘Merica fervor, warts and all. So here we are.

    Did you read his first 100 days plan? There’s a lot a things in it I disagree with. Take for example his immigration plan. The wall? Are you kidding me? Bad idea on so many levels. His talk about immigration was extreme, but the plan seems to be more focused on only deporting those with criminally violent records. There’s going to have to be some compromises here. Deportation IS needed. But so is some form of amnesty and a path to citizenship, because by not enforcing existing law we got ourselves into this mess. Let’s not make this about race. Let’s make this about securing our borders as needed and making reasonable laws and sticking to them.

    There are other items on his list I like. Others I don’t. Some would be good ideas if they were tweaked a bit. That’s where we need to get our local Representatives and Senators involved. Make your voice heard. Unleash ALL of your passion toward the issues. But do it with respect for the office or you’ll be dismissed. The point is, we have to keep talking. What Trump has said no longer matters – for the next 4 years the only thing that matters is what he DOES. And you can still have an influence on that if you do it right.

    Liked by 4 people

  30. I haven’t see here anyone from the military. So here goes…I have a 6 year old daughter and I voted for her future and mine. Between a girl with email problems and a man who sexually assaults women, which one can I leave my daughter in the same room? Or who would I feel comfortable setting a good example in my military service when sexual assuault is such a big problem. Oh and by the way, neither Trump or Pence believe women have a place in the military. A woman who has ambition is the same as a man with ambition. Clinton stayed with her husband even after his infidelity and we criticize her for sticking it out through difficulties in marriage, who wouldn’t. Criticizing Clinton for changing her politician position makes her someone who says anything to be elected. Didn’t Trump do the same thing by playing with your emotions and saying things you wanted to hear. Face it. Fear bating is a lot easier to accept from a man than a woman who “appears to be saying what you want to hear.” Face it, no matter how fully qualified a woman is in this country, she still didn’t get the job because you didn’t “like” her. Way too common under the facade of EO. She’s not “like able and she’s a liar.” Give me a break! I needed a qualified commander in chief who shouldn’t be endorsed by the KKK.

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  31. Celyra – well written, thank you.

    Commenter – I understand that there are some people, like yourself, who feel their freedom of speech is being enfringed upon when they are asked to be “politically correct.” I don’t understand this and have a couple questions I hope you are willing to answer:
    What words do you want to use that you feel you are being told you can not use?
    If there is a term or phrase that is hurtful to your neighbor, is it really necessary to use it? Does it cause you more harm to chose another word than it causes them to hear it?

    The world is harsh enough, if we can save each other a little pain, shouldn’t we?

    To me this isn’t about mandates or restricting freedom of speech, it is about being kind and considerate. I don’t see that as oppressive, but maybe you can explain why you feel it is.

    Thank you.

    Liked by 2 people

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